I’ve been thinking of writing a blog post about a specific song for a while, but every time I sit down to write it, the words come out clunky and awkward. Even now that I’ve committed to this challenge, the words are not flowing as well as I would like. Nothing worth writing is easy or it wouldn’t be worth reading. I hope this meets that standard.
Almost immediately after my move to Southern California I started coming out of a two year period of intense loneliness and fear. Ironically, I’d never been more alone having left all my friends behind to start over in a new city. I didn’t feel lonely though. I believe God used those two years to make me more dependent on him and comfortable with myself. During those lonely and fearful years I found comfort and strength in Christian music. I first started listening to contemporary Christian music after I was introduced to it through a bible study. At first, I thought the music was too saccharine for me, but after some time I realized the message was more important than the music and I grew to love it. I think God is funny. He uses things I think I’m certain about, like my taste in music, and he flips them upside down. At times it’s maddening, but I’ve had enough experience with him to know that whatever he does, he does for my own good.
When my husband lost his job, Christian music helped encourage me so I could encourage my family. We all needed lots of encouraging. Our life was filled with uncertainty. My husband had been out of work for over a year and even though he had many interviews the companies weren’t hiring him. During this time I’d also had an embarrassing seizure in the stands at one of my sons football games. I wasn’t allowed to drive after the seizure so I walked a lot and listened to music. It was a rough time. I felt knocked down. I couldn’t make sense of what was happening. I had no answers. All I had was my faith and Christian music. The first time I heard the song, “He Said” by Group Crew 1, it brought tears to my eyes. I immediately felt less alone. The lyrics say, “Hang on and stand tall and remember that God won’t give you more than you could take. He might let you bend, but he won’t let you break.” Hearing those words gave me so much courage. I had faith that God wouldn’t let us break if we could just continue to lean on him and love each other. It was hard. There was little evidence that change was coming and if it did that it would be something we wanted.
Another line in the song changed my perspective from one of self-pity to one of great hope. The lyrics are, “ Who you are isn’t what you’re going through.” I wanted to tell people that my circumstances didn’t define me. I hadn’t changed and our hardship wasn’t contagious. I quickly learned who my real friends were. Looking back, I know it was all God’s good plan to bring me closer to him. When I hear that song now, I remember the fear and loneliness and I thank him for bringing my family and me through it and putting us right where we are supposed to be.
- Weekly Writing Challenge: Moved by Music (dailypost.wordpress.com)